Two days ago, Lindsey Graham said about the then upcoming Kavanaugh-Ford hearing, "Unless there's something more, no, I'm not gonna ruin Judge Kavanaugh's life over this."
Ruin his life? How would failing a job interview and being pubically shamed "ruin" Kavanaugh's life?
This statement struck me because I've always found the notion of ruining someone's life rather odd. My paternal grandmother said my mother ruined my father's life, I guess by divorcing him and getting me to hate him growing up. An uncle said his son's stalker ex-wife ruined his life, too.
I don't get it. Sure, maybe my mother caused my father a lot of pain and changed his expected course of life. Same with my cousin.
Let's say Kavanaugh and Judge did rape Ford exactly like she says. Did it ruin her life? No! It caused her a great deal of pain and, according to her, a few really rough years. Based on the recorded testimony I saw today, it still hurts her greatly. But it didn't ruin her life by any means. She's a strong, successful woman.
Being divorced by my ex-wife and alienated from my stepkids was fucking awful. The worst thing that's ever happened to me, it still causes me agony. Some days I wish we were still together. But she didn't ruin my life. I have a different life than I hoped for learned some tough lessons. That's it. (And that's plenty.)
Maybe throwing someone in the hole at Guantanamo could qualify as ruining someone's life. Yet, Mandela was in prison for, what, 30 years? He came out to lead a nation. Did the Apartheid government ruin Mandela's life? Nope.
Yes, people are responsible for the pain they cause to others, especially in ways that are illegal or should be. But let's not overblow this. Even hurricanes and cancer don't ruin lives, except for those who die. Death qualifies as "ruined."
If Kavanaugh isn't confirmed, he'll still be a respected attorney with job and income prospects most Americans can never dream of. The worse he can say is this really, really sucks for him and his family. Doubly so if he's innocent.
